‘Beta, It’s Nothing’: How Families Can Move Past This & Talk About Feelings; A Psychologist Explains

In many Indian homes, emotions often remain unspoken — hidden in the silence after a scolding, the noise of plates at dinner, or a quick “I’m fine” before someone walks away.

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We talk openly about marks, meals, and marriages, but struggle to discuss fear, loneliness, or disappointment. And when feelings do come up, they are quickly brushed aside with advice, reassurances, or dismissal — as though the issue has been “fixed”.

Over time, this habit of avoiding emotions causes small hurts to grow into deeper distress, and relationships start revolving only around practical matters.

But emotional well-being doesn’t always need serious, formal conversations. Families can build openness in simple, everyday ways.

As experts Ayushi Kashyap, somatic therapist and psychologist, and Sanchita Sood, RCI-licensed clinical psychologist and senior consultant at Amaha Health, say — meaningful communication begins in daily life.

Moving from fixing to feeling

The reflex to solve rather than listen is deeply familiar in Indian families. Ayushi Kashyap explains, “Most of us have grown up not validating what we feel, but instead trying to quickly solve or minimise it.” As a result, people learn to hide emotions instead of understanding them.

A simple shift can change this pattern: pausing before offering advice. Kashyap suggests tuning into what the other person is experiencing and naming it gently.

A line like, “I sense you’re feeling scared right now, and I’m here with you,” can do more than offer a list of solutions. Listening without rushing to repair tells a family member that their inner world matters.

This approach is especially important with children. When parents jump straight to correction, the child learns that feelings are problems to be managed, not experiences to be understood.

Replacing criticism with curiosity

Parents often worry that acknowledging a child’s emotions will weaken discipline. Sanchita Sood challenges this fear, explaining that validation and boundaries can exist together.

A parent can say, “I see you’re angry, but the answer is still no.” Authority does not disappear when empathy enters the room.

Sood reasons, “A calm parent who can hold a child’s feelings without panic or anger often feels far more authoritative than one who shuts them down; they also make a child feel safer despite staying firm.”

Ayushi Kashyap reminds us that children “don’t need perfect parents, only regulated ones”. When a parent pauses and steadies themselves, curiosity naturally replaces criticism and the urge to interrogate.

When they see a child upset or struggling, simple phrases help:

“Help me understand what happened.”
“I notice you look upset. Can you tell me more?”
“What do you need from me right now?”

Over time, Kashyap says, a parent’s voice becomes the child’s inner voice. When vulnerability meets criticism, that harsh tone gets internalised; when it meets calmness, children learn to relate to themselves with better regulation.

The conversations that don’t look like conversations

Neither expert believes emotional openness requires formal sit-downs. Sood points out that connection often grows in ordinary moments — during meals, while doing chores, or on a car ride home.

A casual, “You seemed quiet today,” or “What was the best and worst part of your day?” opens doors without pressure.

When parents share their own small emotions, like “I was nervous about my meeting,” or “I felt happy seeing you today”, children learn that feelings are normal, not emergencies.

Kashyap adds that simply putting phones aside and being fully present can make everyday interactions meaningful. These micro-moments accumulate, slowly teaching families a new language of care.

Breaking emotional dead-ends

Sanchita Sood observes, “Many of us grew up in homes where emotions were met with sarcasm, comparison, or quick advice. Comments like ‘Don’t overthink,’ ‘Others have it worse,’ or ‘Boys don’t cry’ are often well-meant, but they shut conversations down fast.”

She suggests a gentler alternative: “Instead of fixing, try reflecting with phrases like ‘That sounds upsetting,’ or ‘I can see why that bothered you.’ Often, that one sentence does more than ten solutions. Children don’t need answers; they need space to feel.”

For children who hear, “You are too sensitive,” Sood suggests asserting emotions with clarity by saying things like, “I may be sensitive, but this still matters to me.”

Repeating such statements without expecting instant change can slowly reshape family patterns. Transformation, she reminds us, is built through consistency, not one dramatic conversation.

Why homes matter to mental health

India faces a significant mental health burden; about one in seven people is estimated to live with some form of mental disorder.

At the same time, experts note that more than 80% of those affected do not receive timely or adequate support, largely due to stigma and lack of awareness. These numbers underline why emotional literacy at home is not a luxury but a necessity.

When families learn to respond with presence rather than panic, many struggles never reach a crisis point. A child who can speak about shame or fear is less likely to carry it alone into adulthood.

A hopeful way forward

Healthy communication does not arrive through grand speeches. It grows in the everyday — in a parent who listens instead of lectures, in a child who dares to say, “This still matters to me,” in a family that treats feelings as part of life rather than interruptions to it.

For Indian families, these moments can become a quiet revolution, one conversation at a time. 

Sources

‘Why 80% of Indians with mental illness still miss timely treatment’: by Barkha Mathur for Business Standard, Published on 5 January 2026

‘197 million Indians need mental health support. Here's what's missing’: by Sarjna Rai for Business Standard, Published on 10 October 2025