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The IAS officer says her mother’s approach to raising three children became her own parenting blueprint.
Any parent will admit that they want to give their child the best in life, and raise a kind, well-rounded individual. But in today’s day and age, with more resources and a myriad of conflicting advice, which path should they follow?
IAS officer Divya Mittal shared some parenting advice based on her own experiences with raising two daughters on Twitter.
She, in turn, takes lessons from her own mother, who raised three children, all of whom are doing “well in life”, she says.
My mother raised 3 kids- all 3 went to IIT, then IIM & doing well in their lives.
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
Based on my own childhood and journey of raising 2 little daughters, some insights on parenting.
Please retweet for wider reach. 🧵
Here’s what she says in her thread, which had gone viral with over 20,000 likes.
1. Tell them they can do anything: Divya advises building your child’s resolve and self-belief by giving them constant assurance that they can do anything. “That belief will define their destiny,” she says.
Tell them they can do anything.
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
Tell it so often that they start believing it. That belief will define their destiny
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2. Let them fall: Let your child fall and get hurt, she says, and let them make their own mistakes. You cannot protect them from every pitfall, and children will learn how to get back on their feet themselves.
3. Compete: Encourage your child to compete, even if they don’t win in every competition. A healthy competitive spirit is very important, but this will also make them accustomed to failures, which are part and parcel of life.
4. Let them take risks: Divya advises to let your child take a risk — climb a tree, engage in adventure sports. This, she opines, will teach them how to behave responsibly in situations where they could get hurt.
Let them take risk.
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
Monitor them but allow them to do things you feel can be somewhat risky. Adventure sports, climbing a tree. You will see that when they know they can get hurt in the process, they behave responsibly
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5. Abundance mindset: Every next generation gets access to more opportunities and better resources than their predecessor. Divya says, don’t remind them of the scarcity you faced, and impose that thinking on them.
Abundance mindset.
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
They have opportunities & resources that you never had. Let them use that as a jump board to go in the higher orbit. Don't impose your scarcity mindset on them
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6. Be a role model: Practice what you preach, says Divya. Parents should not say or do something while telling their child otherwise. “Nothing breaks a child's heart more than seeing hypocrisy of their parents,” she says.
7. Shun bad behaviour: While you must allow your child to experiment and fail, it doesn’t mean that you allow bad behaviour, says Divya. You must correct them when they go wrong.
Shun bad behaviour.
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
You must scold them & correct them when they are doing something bad. They need to understand what right behaviour is
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8. Trust your children: Hope is very important for everyone, including children. Parents must not become disappointed in their children, she says.
9. Give experiences: A healthy exposure to a variety of experiences is integral to their having an open mind, she advises. Let them explore the world.
Give experiences.
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
Give them a variety of experiences to open their minds and hearts. Take them to orphanages, dance shows, travel, museums. Wherever you go, talk to them about things and their experience. Don't just be busy amongst yourselves
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10. Listen: Listening is an important habit that must be inculcated from a young age. This will happen only when parents first listen to their children, says Divya.
11. Don’t compare: One of the biggest follies made by parents is comparison. Divya advises against comparing your child with anyone, especially their siblings. This can cause problems as the child becomes an adult.
12. Be their safe space: Everyone needs a safe space. Divya says that parents must be that space for their children, “where they get love without having to be anything”.
Most important:
— Divya Mittal (@divyamittal_IAS) August 23, 2022
Be their safe place. Where they get love without having to be anything. Tell them that you will always love them, even if you are angry with them. Your love is not conditional on any behaviour of theirs.
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