The calendar flips, and suddenly the world bursts into rainbow hues. Brands light up their logos, your social feed fills with flags and filters, and everywhere you look, Pride Month shines bright, colourful, proud, and impossible to miss.

But amidst all the celebration, it is easy to forget that Pride is not just about trends and reels. It is rooted in a powerful history that began with protests and resonated with courage. But how often do we pause to truly understand the language we use? Words like queer, closeted, or gender are sometimes thrown around casually often misused, misunderstood, or stripped of the weight it carries.

The modern Pride movement was sparked in 1969 with the Stonewall Riots in New York, led by queer and trans people of colour who stood up against police harassment. That spirit of resistance continues today, especially in places where being yourself still comes at a cost.

So to make these conversations more respectful and informed, The Better India has joined hands with The Humsafar Trust, one of India’s oldest LGBTQ+ organisations, to create a glossary that explains these common but important terms — simply, clearly, and with heart. 

Whether you’re an ally wanting to learn more or just curious about what words like intersex or biphobia truly mean, this guide is for you.

Just a small note before you dive in: This glossary doesnot cover every term or represent everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. After all, there is no single way to be LGBTQ+ and definitely no one-size-fits-all way to talk about the identities.

So, what can be done while being respectful? Simply ask. 

Ask people how they describe themselves, ask for their pronouns, and reflect that in how you speak about them or write about them. At the end of the day, language is about listening, and this guide is just a starting point to help us all do that a little better.

LGBTQ+

Let’s start with the foundation. You’ve probably seen the acronym LGBTQ used often, whether in conversations, news, or on social media. It stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. Sometimes, especially in youth-focused spaces, the Q can also mean questioning because figuring things out takes time, and that is okay.

You might also see versions like LGBTQ+, with the plus added to be more inclusive of all identities that don’t fall under “straight” or “cisgender.” There’s no one perfect acronym, which is fine at the end of the day because what matters is using language that respects and includes everyone.

While “gay community” is a phrase that was once commonly used, it does not quite serve the purpose any longer. It fails to reflect the beautiful diversity within the community. Today, it’s more accurate and inclusive to say LGBTQ community or LGBTQ+ community instead.

Lesbian

A lesbian is a woman who feels emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to other women. Simple as that. Some women may prefer to call themselves gay or gay women, which is completely their choice. 

Side note: Refrain from using the term “homosexual.” It can feel outdated or clinical. Instead, go with how someone describes themselves; that can be done by simply asking!

Gay

The term gay usually refers to a person who is emotionally, romantically, and/or physically attracted to people of the same gender. It is most commonly used for men (as in gay men), but some women also use the word to describe themselves (gay women or gay people).

Also, just like with lesbians, try to avoid the word ‘homosexual’ as it feels clinical and impersonal to many people.

Bisexual, Bi, Bi+

Being bisexual means that someone can feel emotionally, romantically, or physically attracted to more than one gender. This doesn’t mean they’re always attracted to all genders equally or at the same time. It just means that their attraction isn’t limited to one gender.

The “bi” in bisexual doesn’t mean “men and women”. In fact, it refers to attraction to people of your own gender and other genders. That’s an important difference! 

People might use the terms bi, bisexual, or bi+ (which is meant to be more inclusive of identities like pansexual, queer, or fluid — all describing attraction to more than one gender).

Some people exploring this might also describe themselves as bicurious, meaning they’re still figuring out who they’re attracted to.

Side note: Biphobia is the dislike of bisexual people. It often stems from harmful stereotypes like the false idea that bisexual people are unfaithful, promiscuous, or responsible for spreading sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). These beliefs are not only inaccurate but also deeply hurtful.

Transgender 

Transgender (or trans for short) is an adjective used to describe someone whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth. It is about how they feel and understand themselves inside. 

For example, someone can be assigned a male at birth who knows they are a woman and may identify as a trans woman. Or someone assigned a female at birth can identify as a man, hence a trans man.

Being transgender is about what someone knows to be true about themselves. It is not about looks, surgeries, or medical steps. A person can identify as transgender from the moment they realise their gender identity doesn’t match the label they were given at birth. 

Queer 

Queer is a term many people in the LGBTQ+ community use today to describe identities that don't fit into traditional categories of gender or sexuality. It is broad, flexible, and can include anyone who feels different from the cisgender, heterosexual norm.

However, originally, queer just meant strange or unusual. In the late 1800s, it became a slur and was used to insult LGBTQ+ people, famously appearing during Oscar Wilde’s trial in 1894. After the 1969 Stonewall Riots, activists began reclaiming “queer” as a term of empowerment and unity. By the 1990s and early 2000s, it appeared in pop culture, like the show Queer As Folk and started to be embraced more widely.

Today, queer is an umbrella term for many LGBTQ+ identities. It is a way to express fluidity in gender and sexuality that reflects resistance and inclusivity. Some still find it hard to use because of its past as a slur, but for many, it’s a powerful way to say, “This is who I am!” 

In the acronym LGBTQ+, the “Q” stands for queer and/or questioning. It reflects a broad spectrum of identities, while “questioning” refers to individuals exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Nonbinary

Nonbinary is a term some people use when their gender doesn’t fit into the categories of “man” or “woman.” They might feel like both, neither, or something else entirely. Some nonbinary people also identify as transgender, but not all do.

Nonbinary is an umbrella term that encompasses various identities, including agender, bigender, and demigender. Some people use the word “enby” as a casual way to say nonbinary. 

Side note:Do not confuse the term NB with non-black, which refers to Non-Black in other contexts. Nonbinary may also be written as non-binary. Both forms are commonly used within the community and accepted.

Drag queen 

A drag queen is usually a man who cross-dresses. Drag is a creative art form that includes lip-syncing, dancing, comedy, and more. While many drag queens are gay men, drag can be performed by people of any gender or sexuality. 

Some people may cross-dress for personal or professional reasons, but that is separate from drag as a cultural and artistic expression.

Rainbow flag

The rainbow flag is a colourful and powerful symbol of the LGBTQ+ community. First created in the late 1970s by artist and activist Gilbert Baker, it celebrates the beauty and diversity of people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer. 

Over time, the rainbow flag has become one of the most recognised symbols of love, acceptance, and equality. You’ll often see it at pride parades, marches, and events that support LGBTQ+ rights. 

While rainbow flags can also be used in other contexts (like peace movements), within the LGBTQ+ community, they’re a vibrant reminder that everyone deserves to be proud of who they are and to be treated with dignity and respect.

Closeted

Someone who is closeted isn’t openly sharing their sexual orientation or gender identity with others. Coming out is a personal choice; everyone has their own timing and comfort level.

A person might be out to some close friends, but not to family or coworkers. Fear of rejection, being treated differently, losing their job, or even facing harassment or violence are some of the reasons why one is still ‘not out,’ 

Yes, and that is how we should be saying it, 'not out.' 

Coming out

Imagine carrying a beautiful book with you that only you have read. The pages hold stories of who you are, what you feel, and who you love. 

Coming out is simply choosing, when you're ready, to share that book with others. Maybe you read it aloud to a friend. Maybe you lend a page or two to someone you trust. Or maybe, for now, you just keep reading it quietly to yourself!

Coming out is not a one-time event. It is a lifelong process of self-understanding and (sometimes) self-sharing. Some people feel ready to tell others; some don’t, and that’s okay.

Gender and gender dysphoria

Gender is not just about biology! It is about how we experience and express ourselves in the world — the social and cultural idea of being “masculine,” “feminine,” or somewhere in between (or beyond!). 

For example, you might have been assigned “male” at birth based on your body, but inside, you’ve always felt more connected to being female — or maybe neither or both! That feeling is tied to your gender identity, which can be different from your assigned sex.

Now, when someone’s gender identity doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth, they might experience something called gender dysphoria. It’s not about being confused — it is about the emotional discomfort or distress that can come from that mismatch.

For instance, someone might strongly wish to be seen and treated as a different gender, or they might feel deeply uncomfortable with their body because it doesn’t reflect who they are inside.

Side note:It is important to keep in mind that not all transgender or nonbinary people experience gender dysphoria, and those who do aren’t “broken!” They’re simply trying to live in a world that often doesn’t understand them. What matters most is supporting each person’s journey with respect, kindness, and understanding.

Intersex 

An intersex person is born with one or more innate sex characteristics, such as their sex organs, hormones, or chromosomes, that don’t fit into the typical definitions of what’s usually considered “masculine” or “feminine” bodies. 

For example, a baby who is not born with XX or XY, but has some variations like XXY or XO, can influence how their bodies develop. 

To further understand, some people might have chromosomes usually linked to boys (called XY), but their bodies look more like girls. Others might have chromosomes usually linked to girls (XX) but don’t have certain body parts like a uterus. Some babies are born with body parts that aren’t clearly one way or the other.

It is important to know that being intersex is about the body, not about who someone feels inside or who they love. Some intersex people might also be transgender, meaning their inner sense of gender doesn’t match how they were raised. 

But most intersex people aren’t transgender, and most transgender people aren’t intersex.

Out

When someone is out, it means they are open about being LGBTQ+ — whether at home with family, at work, on social media, or in public spaces. 

But being “out” looks different for everyone. Some people might be out only to close friends or family, while others might speak openly in public or on platforms to inspire others or push for change.

For example, Dutee Chand, one of India’s top sprinters, in 2019, became the first Indian athlete to publicly come out as lesbian. She shared that she was in a same-sex relationship, despite knowing that it might bring criticism and pressure. However, by coming out, Dutee not only lived her truth but also gave courage to others to do the same.

Side note: Coming out should not be confused with another term known as outing, which is the act of revealing another person’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their permission. Sometimes it can be done based on rumours or assumptions. It is not considered appropriate even when the intentions are good because it simply takes away one’s choice and their control and can even put them at risk of discrimination, rejection or worse. 

Say this, not that: terms you should avoid 

Using thoughtful, inclusive language shows respect and helps create a world where everyone feels seen and valued, which we can all support. Here are some ways that we can keep in mind while writing about the LGBTQ+ community and try our best to avoid ambiguous ideas and concepts. 

Don’t say “hermaphrodite,’” say “intersex”

The term hermaphrodite is outdated and considered offensive. It wrongly suggests that someone has fully formed male and female reproductive systems, which is medically inaccurate and stigmatising. 

Instead, use “intersex”, which is the respectful and accurate term for people born with physical sex traits that don’t fit typical male or female categories. Also, avoid calling Hijras “hermaphrodites”— Hijras” are a distinct cultural and gender identity in South Asia and should be recognised on their own terms.

Don’t say “homosexual” or “homo,” simply ask 

“Homosexual” is a clinical term that feels cold and impersonal to many in the LGBTQ+ community. The shortened version “homo” is often used as a slur and is offensive. 

Instead, ask how people would like to be addressed. These terms are affirming and widely accepted.

Don’t say “homosexual sex,” say “sex” or “relationship”

Using phrases like “homosexual sex” or “gay sex” can feel dehumanising and overly clinical. Most of the time, it’s enough to say “sex,” “relationship,” or “couple”. 

Also, don’t describe homosexuality as a “condition”

Calling homosexuality a “condition” wrongly suggests it's a disorder or illness that needs to be cured. That idea has been disproven and rejected by medical and psychological experts around the world. 

Homosexuality is simply a natural variation of human sexuality. So, just talk about it as an orientation or identity, not a condition.

Don’t say “sexual preference,” say “sexual orientation”

The phrase “sexual preference” should be avoided because it wrongly suggests that who someone is attracted to is just a choice like picking a favorite food. This idea has been used to support harmful beliefs, like trying to “fix” or change someone’s sexuality, which is not only untrue but also very hurtful.

Instead, the right term to use is “sexual orientation” or just “orientation.” This refers to a person’s natural and lasting attraction, whether it is to people of the same gender, a different gender, multiple genders, or none at all. It includes people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, and also straight.

Don’t say “lifestyle,” say “LGBTQI+ people and their lives”

The word “lifestyle” usually describes the way people choose to live, like being busy, relaxed, eco-friendly, or sporty. It is about personal choices.

But when people say “LGBT lifestyle,” it wrongly suggests that being gay, lesbian, bi, or trans is a choice, like picking a hobby or a trend. Being LGBTQI+ is not a lifestyle; rather, it is who someone is. LGBTQI+ people can have all kinds of lives: some are married, some have kids, some are single, and they live in all kinds of ways, just like anyone else.

Don’t say “sex reassignment surgery,” say “transitioning”

Transition is the personal process that someone goes through to help their gender expression and/or their body better match their gender identity.

It might include hormone therapy or surgeries. However, it is better to avoid terms like “sex reassignment surgery,” which can sound outdated or overly focused on the body. Instead, just say “transition”, or talk about it in terms the person uses. 

Side note:Transitioning is not just about medical changes. It can also include social and legal steps. This might mean coming out to family and friends, using a new name or pronouns, or changing how one dresses to reflect their gender identity. It can also involve updating documents like one’s driver’s license, passport and bank account to match the name and gender. 

Every transition is personal, and there's no one “right” way to do it — just the way that feels right!

Pride Month is a time to celebrate, but it is also a moment to listen, learn, and grow. Understanding the words people use to describe themselves helps us show respect and kindness every day, not just in June. Let us embrace language with care, thus opening doors to acceptance and connection, helping everyone feel seen and valued just as they are!

Edited by Leila Badyari