Credits: India Today

In Navi Mumbai, Anup Kumar Nair, a techie by profession, once lived like anyone else — going to work, following routines, managing life. Then one day, he locked himself inside his flat.

He remained in complete isolation for over three years. No one noticed — not his neighbours, not his friends, not even distant relatives.

After losing his parents and brother, Anup’s world slowly collapsed around him. The loneliness and grief grew heavier with time, pulling him into chronic depression.

In a world so digitally connected, how does a person simply go unnoticed? We often scroll past lives that are silently falling apart.

Anup’s story isn’t just a personal tragedy—it’s a sign of something deeper, something many of us fail to see. We spoke to psychologist Mehezabin Dordi to understand why this happens.

People in deep distress often isolate themselves, quietly and gradually. They don’t want to burden anyone or fear being judged.

In Anup’s case, he had lost his entire family. The grief may have been too overwhelming to process alone. With no outlet to mourn or someone to reach out to, he may have slowly shut the world out.

But why do such cases go unnoticed in crowded cities like Mumbai? “Urban life is fast, disconnected, and isolating,” says Mehezabin. “We live in apartments stacked together, but barely speak to our neighbours.” In cities, absence rarely raises alarm.

In smaller towns, people notice if you don’t step out for a day or two.” But in a city, someone can disappear behind a closed door and stay hidden for years. The community is often missing, and without it, so is accountability.

The signs of withdrawal are rarely loud. You may notice someone no longer comes out. Packages and deliveries begin to pile up. Their home may appear neglected, and their phone always goes unanswered.

She adds, “They might stop taking care of themselves or lose interest in things they once enjoyed. These small signs are silent distress signals.”

Sign 1: Prolonged silence and unreachable periods When someone goes unusually quiet for extended periods — no calls, no messages, no social media activity — this could indicate deeper struggles, especially if it’s out of character.

Sign 2: Visible neglect of personal care and surroundings You may notice they stop tending to their hygiene, their home appears messy or abandoned, and they may avoid any form of contact, even from a distance.

Sign 3: Sudden disinterest in previously loved activities They may withdraw from hobbies, social circles, or work without explanation. This loss of joy and disconnection from things that once mattered can be an important red flag.

So, how do we know if someone’s just introverted or in serious emotional trouble? “Introverts enjoy solitude, but still function,” says Mehezabin. “They work, maintain some relationships, and care for themselves.” Severe withdrawal, on the other hand, is different and dangerous.

When someone stops responding, stops showing up, when they’re unreachable for weeks or months — that’s no longer just a personality trait. One that needs attention, not assumptions.

So what can we do? Start small: a gentle knock, a kind message, a warm meal left outside. “No pressure to talk. Just letting you know I’m thinking of you.” Let them know they’re not invisible. 

You can try again later or speak to someone close to them. If you’re concerned for their safety, involving a professional or community authority might be necessary.

Is it possible to overcheck on someone? Maybe. But silence can be just as harmful. “Be present, without being invasive,” Mehezabin says.

Try something like, “No pressure to talk, I just wanted to say I’m thinking of you.” Respect their space, but don’t disappear either. If the person keeps withdrawing and it feels serious, especially if there are signs of self-neglect or harm, it’s okay to seek help on  their behalf.

Anup’s story is heartbreaking, but not rare. In every city, there are people living behind closed doors. If this instance teaches us anything, it’s this: compassion doesn’t need to be loud. It can be a quiet knock, a warm message, or a second try. It just needs to be consistent.