This UPSC Aspirant Almost Gave Up On Life: Aryendra Kumar’s Journey of Courage and Comeback

7 November 2025

“Maybe this is it.” In 2020, Aryendra Kumar sat alone in Delhi, heart pounding, panic attacks crashing over him, on the edge of giving up on life. His journey from despair to IPS is a reminder that mental health matters.

Aryendra wasn’t just another topper—a proud IIT Kharagpur grad, he’d come to Delhi to chase the UPSC dream, carrying the hopes of his family and his own secret fears.

Nobody saw the invisible war he fought. Campus placements didn’t work out, backup plans crumbled, and suddenly the dream felt like a trap rather than a purpose.

Twice he failed the UPSC prelims—both times his world shrank a little more. When lockdown hit, the walls of his room closed in, the silence in Delhi louder than ever.

Panic attacks left him terrified of even breathing. He couldn’t tell his parents or burden relatives—every night, the dark thoughts crept closer.

But when the lockdown eased, Aryendra moved to Prayagraj to live with his uncle—and that change saved his life. Step by step, he rebuilt himself by creating a disciplined daily routine.

He woke at 5 am, meditated, exercised, and set strict study hours. Instead of letting nights swallow him, he made journaling and positive affirmations part of his nightly rituals.

Breaking the massive UPSC mountain into tiny climbs, Aryendra celebrated every small win—crossing one topic off, writing one answer, hitting one milestone.

He shut out the noise by changing his phone number, cutting away pressure from friends and endless job comparisons. Journaling became his therapy, pouring fears out on paper, ending each page with hope.

After failures, he switched gears and cleared the UPPCS exam, landing his first job as Naib Tehsildar. That little victory gave him proof—he could build back.

He returned to UPSC with fresh focus, finally cracking it in his 4th attempt in 2023, then moving up to IPS in 2024. But for him, the biggest win wasn’t the exam—it was choosing life over the darkness.

Aryendra journey teaches us that caring for mental health is strength, not weakness. His story proves: success isn’t just about ranks or jobs, but daring to stay alive and hope for tomorrow.